should i stay or should i go now?

[stripedtabby]

I feel disconnected with fandom these past few months, and I blame work for it most of the time. I have a feeling that akon will pretty much be my last fandom related anything because I I just don't connect with people anymore.

I'm sure I've lost friends along the way, and I'm saddened by that. People I chatted with on a regular basis are gone. DN is something I just..I don't know if I want to be a part of internet fandoms anymore.

Star Trek isn't shiny anymore, and I'm hanging on by a thread because of all the recent movies the boys have been in. I like supernatural, but, fandom wise, I'm just on the outside. I like dexter, but the new season hasn't started. Same thing with the walking dead.

I'm just, lost.

Maybe, its time for me to grow up after akon is over.
Fandom, you were cool while it lasted. Ill be purging my MB account tomorrow morning, and just stick to the social blogs, where I don't deal with fandom, but rather, people sharing their lives and their personal fandoms.

Comments

[ghostgum]

I think work is a large part of it – at least, it is for me, and it seems to be a common complaint for other friends. It's as though so many of us are getting older, moving on to different things... It's hard to make sense of for me, too, seeing as I still get so excited about shows/books/things, and rave about them to people, but to actually get involved with fandom somehow seems just out of my league constantly. I suppose it's made harder by the fact that we're all getting like that, and fandom, for me, has always been more about friends-in-fandom, than anything else. idk.

I used to find it so much easier, too, to write, for that reason. Deep down, I don't think I was ever really writing for me -- nor for fandom. I was writing for close friends, for my ex-girlfriend... when that connection isn't there, I just don't care the way I used to. I miss that, but it's true.

You're right about having a clean-up, though. I think one's been long overdue for me, as well. I'm just bored of a lot of places, and I really only have much to do with, well, Dreamwidth, Twitter, and the A03. I basically read ALL my fic on the A03, mainly because I can download it to my Kobo. I do still listen to podfic, too, but podfic has never been a particularly communal activity, you know?

And I'm rambling, because I'm at work, and I'm bored, and I'm hungry, and I would rather be sitting on the sofa watching old episodes of How I Met Your Mother and eating mac and cheese. :|

I'd miss you if you left here, though, so I really hope you don't. You're one of my old friends, you know, one of the few where it doesn't seem to matter whether we have fandom interests in common or not, and that means a lot to me. I'd really miss you.

<3

[stripedtabby]

*hugs tight*

First off, you have a wonderful way with words that just make me feel like everythings going to be okay, and I'm not alone in feeling like how I do. A lot of my stress does come from work, but, it also comes from melissa... I may be selfish in wanting assuranse that I'm not just some rp/internet friend to her. She was my main reason to stay with my job and save money, she was the reason why I transfered over to a slower bank location. I feel like I give and give and give...but, hardly get anything in return.

I mean...don't tell me you'll promise to rp or to just chat, and then never message me. Or ask for rp, and after one post, never reply. I was willing to spend my entire vacation with her. I was willing to fly across the country. Literally from one border to the other, to see her. But, shed rather spend her money and time on going to new york with her friend and keep avoiding me because she's broke and just. BUH. She frustrates me in a way that noone in my life has ever done, but here I am still, giving and giving.

*leans against*
Work had gotten to me too, and I'm considering quitting within the next two paychecks or so. I'm tired of the drama that's starting to take place.

I guess, growing up and finding out who your friends are outside of fandoms, is something hard to do. I love the fact that I'm still friends with you, and id never leave dw simply because this has become my little safe haven from everyone. You're something special to me, and have been an amazing friendand I'm just so grateful to have you as a friend. Because you're right, fandom shouldn't be the only thing in common, friends are what's more important.

*squishes* I need to post my present to you soon.

[ghostgum]

You mean a lot to me, and are one of the friends who's stuck around, for which I'm so grateful; words are the least I can give you! :)

And ugh, yeah... sounds like certain aspects of my last relationship, so I know where you're coming from there. I wish things could get better, but at the very least I hope you'll find strength, in yourself, however they go.

And work drama sucks balls. The politics where I am is just stupid atm.

*pulls you closer*

[stripedtabby]

Also, mac and cheese and HIMYM sounds like a fantastic evening

[ghostgum]

♥

[stripedtabby]

♥

i forgot to tell you, but a day or two after this, i had mac and cheese :3